Random Confessions

Sometimes being a fat chick isn't that bad. There are times when you find people who don't judge you by your looks and there are times when you can connect with similarly shaped people. That's not to say it's easy or that these events happen a lot - do not make the mistake of thinking everything is great just because of a few chance moments.

Just like other things in life it's never all bad nor all good. It is what it is and I grab hold of any good moments with a ferocity that startles -- okay scares the hell out of -- people.

You see being fat doesn't mean I have to hate myself, the world around me or even the people who would so readily judge me. I don't have to be anything nor do I have to act a certain way -- ashamed -- to appease the fat haters. I can be fat and simultaneously be happy, fun, cute, sweet, gorgeous and sexy! Le sexy purr.

Here's a little secret I've never told anyone: I actually like being fat. Gasp
I like it because I'm not pretending to be someone or something I'm not. I'm not a "skinny chick living in a fat chick's body" or some other nonsense.
I like it because I'm not like everyone else. I'm not just another pretty thin chick; I'm the pretty fat chick.
I like being content with my body no matter how big, how strange and no matter what weird stuff it might do. Dear body, I've had my gallbladder removed for over a year now. Do you think you could stop with the gallbladder pain now? Sincerely, Me.

I am not just my body. I am not just fat or just blue eyed. I am complex and kooky and definitely cute. My body may be what you initially see but it's not entirely me. I have feelings, no way! and I have a pretty amazing and rather interesting -- strange -- brain. Just because these things are not outwardly visible doesn't mean they don't exist.

There's also one last thing I like about being fat. It's a little two sided and one side isn't so great, but the other side is phenomenal.

It may take me longer to find an outfit I like and feel comfortable in but when I do I absolutely nail it! I get more compliments on my great outfit and how fantastic I look than my conventionally beautiful -- thin -- friends. While I don't gloat or base my whole identity on looking better than my friends, the compliments sure help to make me feel validated, noticed and pretty.

Just to be clear the times I do get complimented more I always shift the focus to my friends as well because we are all beautiful.

So being fat isn't always hard nor is it always awful. There are times when people and events are so amazing I can completely forget I'm the fat chick and just enjoy myself being human.

Just remember: I am more than my body.